Afraid
by iffyakaprincess
Summary: ( ON HOLD ) A smutty Niam fic. Slight Narry and Larry. May be triggering. Includes cutting and unhealthy mental thoughts. Please don't read if you might be triggered.
1. What Have I Done?

**A/N: hey guys :) this is my first time writing. if i have good reviews i will continue this story into a fanfiction. So please go easy and dont be afraid to criticize my work. I prefer your honesty. Thanks for taking you time to read my story. xx**

'Liam….Yes…..Harder! I-I'm going to…. LIAM'

I woke up panting for air. I quickly turned to look at the empty spot in my bed. Disappointment crashed through me. It was only a dream. That was by far the most intense life-like dream I had. I could feel a thin sheet of sweat clinging to my skin. My shirt clung to my torso like a second skin. Images of the dream went through my mind. _How I would like him sucking me off, and filling me with his huge fat co-._

"HELLO? Wake up sleepy head. You have to be at 101.1's studio by 10:30am. It's now 9:45." A voice said in the doorway. I gasped. That voice belonged to the one guy I did **not **want to face this morning. Liam. 'HEY DUDE. I CAN SEE YOU'RE AWAKE AND IF YOU DON'T ANSWER TO ME I **WILL **DUNK A BUCKET OF ICE COLD WATER ON YOUR FACE!'

_Shit. I had no doubt that he wouldn't carry out his threat, but I was clouded by the dream he just woke from. Who knows what I'll end up saying to Liam. What should I say? He probably thinks I'm an idiot for not answering him. Or avoiding him like the plague. Fuck. What if he knows I like him? Will he push for management to kick me out of the band? What if-_

'Niall? Are you listening to me or are you ignoring me like usual' His voice was suddenly irritated and dare I say it _hurt?_

'Sorry. I'm just really tired.' I said as convincingly as I could manage. By the look on his fae he clearly didn't believe me. He began searching my eyes for a couple of seconds, and in those few seconds, I saw the true definition of beauty. The way the light in the hallway made his chocolaty brown eyes more pronounced. I got lost staring into those eyes that never failed to turn me on. If I had been paying more attention I would have noticed that the distance between us have shortened considerably. I'm not sure who made the first move but suddenly our lips collided.

It wasn't slow, loving or even cautious. It was hard and full of lust. I began licking the bottom of Liam's lip, begging for entrance not giving up until he opened for me. The moment he opened his mouth things got hot and heavy fast. Clothes began to litter the floor. My mind began to fuzz up and breathing was not really important compared to making Liam moan.

I was so caught up In kissing him that it took a couple of moments to realise that Liam had his back against the wall that was on the other side of the room, furthest away from me. Liam looked so disgusted and horrified at what he had done that my heart felt like it was going to explode at the amount of pain. 'Oh my god Liam I'm **soo **fucking sorry for kissing you. I'm sor-' I couldn't even stand the blank expression on his face so I ran out the room, crying at the fact that Liam would never love me. How could he when he had his perfect Danielle, the dancer. I ran all the way to the basement hoping he would follow me just to show that he did in fact care about me and wanted to make a relationship work. I ran down the stairs and collapsed in a crying heap. My head hurt and my heart hurt. I knew I had to get over Liam fast or it wouldn't end well for me. I could hear in the distance running footsteps along the wooden floorboards that lead to the basement. Suddenly Liam grabbed my arm and panted, 'Niall, I think we should talk.'


	2. The Aftermath

**A/N: Hi guys :) thank you for reading this it truly means a lot to me. please leave review. xx**

_'Niall, I think we should talk.'_

Niall just kissed me. Niall had me pinned under him on the bed, kissing me and grinding our erections together. _Why? Why did he kiss me?_ I wondered while looking at his beautiful face. _He can't fancy me because he's straight…I'm positive he is straight…_.right? I've seen him checking out girls at bars countless times, so he couldn't be gay. Just after the thought passed through my head I felt something akin to jealousy flow through me.

My emotions were all over the place. I felt like I had betrayed Danielle by kissing Niall back, but at the same time wished I hadn't stop our over the top make-out-sesh. And that made me even more confused because I wasn't gay.

'I'm-I'm sorry that I kissed you Liam. I know it was wrong and I swear I thought you had some sort of romantic feelings towards me and I wanted to confirm it. But it's more than obvious that you don't feel the same and I understand. I honestly do. I'm not going to mourn what we never had and what will never be, so I hope you don't feel uncomfortable when I pretend this whole morning never happened.' And with that he simply walked right out of the basement.

For one crazy second I wanted to pull Niall into my arms and kiss him senseless. I banished the thought from my head and waited a while before walking to the kitchen.

Before I could even walk through the door to the kitchen I heard Louis and Harry laughing while Zayn was screaming, 'MY OUTFIT! YOU GUYS ARE SUCH BASTARDS. IT TOOK ME 2 HOUR TO GET IT PERFECT. ARGH! I DON'T KNOW WHY I PUT UP WITH ALL YOUR BULLSHIT,' and with that he ran passed me without saying hello to the bathroom to fix his hair.

I walked inside the kitchen and found Lou and Hazza practically rolling on the floor laughing. 'Oh my god. Hahaha did you see his face? It was priceless. Hahaha. **Priceless **I tell you!' Lou managed to say while continuing laughing. Normally I would be laughing along with them but now I couldn't get Niall's sad eyes out of my head. How he had looked so close to tears while telling me that it was a one-time thing and that they should just forget about it.

'Niall, Where were you? You just missed the most hilarious thing in the world! Lou was cooking scrambled eggs and when Zayn came in Lou chucked around 7 raw eyes at Zayn and aiming for his hair. Half of it broke because of his forehead and the rest splattered all over his top and hair. And- EEEK' Zayn came barreling in and tackled Harry to the ground starting a wrestling match which Louis quickly joined in on.

Liam wasn't aware about what was going on, my brain muddled up when I saw Niall. His hair was wet, showing that he just came out from the shower, he had a white top on which acted like a second skin and one of Louis's tight black jeans that clearly indicated where his erection lay.

_I shouldn't be having these thoughts. I have a girlfriend for crying out loud. But having him under me while fucking his brains out a nice tho-. STOP IT! You have a girlfriend and you are straight - although that could be debated - so why am I having dirty thoughts about my best friend? He as such plump lips….I wonder how they would feel sucking my di-. _My pants felt a lot tighter than before and I sat down across the table to make my erection less obvious. But by the looks on the boys faces, they clearly knew he was having dirty thoughts.

'Thinking about Danielle?' Harry said cheekily. My eyes widened and even though it was obvious i was embarrassed, that didn't stop the idiot from humiliating me further. 'You know, you could just have a cold shower since you aren't going to see her until tonight or it will be a **long **day for you.'

The look on Niall's face was one of heartbreak. It physically hurt seeing him look at me like that. 'Niall-' he ignored me and swiftly walked out the room, tears streaming down his face.

Little did I know how much I would regret not stopping Niall from leaving and not kissing away those tears.


	3. Dirty Secret

A/N: Hey guys. I really appreciate everyone who is reading my story. It means a lot to me. Please review. Btw my computer is fcked up so I wont be able to post new chapters quickly :( and the chapters will be posted via iPod so it will take even longer :/ hope you enjoy.

Warning: Includes self harm. If your not into those stuff don't read on. And smut(ish)

Disclaimer: I do not own one direction.

Niall's POV:

Fuck Liam. Fuck Liam and his sexy, fuckable ass. Fuck his girlfriend. Fuck me for falling for him, a guy who could never love me. It was those thoughts that had me running into the bathroom, locking the door, getting a piece of loose nail and slumping to the cold tiles. I spread my legs out wide and leaned my wrist on my knee.

I've never self harmed before and I should have of been worried if I accidentally cutting too deep, but I was too far gone emotionally and physically because of life, that I didn't give a damn. I dragged the nail horizontally across my wrist. I hissed at the pain but also relished in it. This pain was unique. It felt addictive, so I dragged another line across my wrist. This time longer and deeper. 'agh' I moaned. Shit. I need to keep quiet or the boys will realize what I'm up to, I thought worriedly. I kept of dragging the nail across my wrist at all angles, beads of blood just rolling from my wounds on to my t-shirt. In total I had 6 marks on my wrist. They were an ugly colour, reddish-brownish and light pink around the scars. My wrist is a bloody mess. I need to clean It before one of the boys see.

I jump into the shower and groan and the water touches my scars. Cutting myself felt good. No. Wonderful. It felt wonderful. But this just felt downright painful. I had to angle my hand away from the water, so the water didn't come into contact with my scars. Glancing down I realize that the water going down the drain is mixed with my blood turning it lift pink. Gathering all my courage, I shoved my arm under the shower head and waited until the pain slowly began to ebb away and the would was clean and stopped bleeding. I put a towel around myself and considered putting band aids over my scars but if the boys saw they would ask to see and that would not have a good result.

I walked into my room and put on a new baby blue long-sleeved shirt and white jeans and navy blue vans.

Paul suddenly entered my room, unannounced. 'Niall buddy, hurry up. The boys are in the car and waiting to get to the radio station. Come on,' an impatient Paul demanded and once again left me alone in my room.

'Okay,' I yelled to Paul and quickly ran ahead of him so he could lock the door. Just before I went inside the limo I quickly scanned to see if there were other seats available instead of my usual spot in front of Liam, and prayed to god that there were other free seats. Apparently fate had other ideas. Only my usual spot was empty, so I unhappily sat next to Liam.

'What took you so long you twat?' Louis demanded with his usual sassiness. 'Eating the rest of the food in the complex?'

'Ha ha ha. That's so funny, I'm dying of laughter. My god Lou when do you come up with all these funny jokes?!' I snapped. Didn't people know something called space.

'Oi. What's with the attitude?' demanded a pissed off Harry, his face slowly becoming red.

'Can you fucking mind your own fucking business? It's something called space,' I hissed and turned to look outside the window watching cars, houses and happy people passing us by. 'Umm attitude much?' Louis spat. I ignored him. I couldn't handle looking at Louis or any of other the boys and be filled by guilt. So I was pushing that horrible feeling away by being an asshole. 'Nialler?..' a tentative Zayn asked. He whispered something to Lou and then suddenly they both got up and changed spots so that Zayn was on Niall's right with Louis sitting next to Harry. 'You okay Nialler? I'm worried about you. You haven't been the same for a couples of days so I'm starting to get worried,' I could tell that Zayn was genuinely concerned about me and that only made me feel more guilty. I was trying so hard not to cry in front of them but still a few tears leaked out. I felt a gentle hand wiping away my tears and I looked up into Zayns beautiful eyes. If I hadn't been so infatuated with Liam, I would have found Zayn very attractive. The tears came faster and harder now and Zayn struggled to wife away my tears so he brought our faces together and kissed my checks whispering things like 'I love you Nialler please don't cry' or 'shh it's okay babe. It's okay'. And I couldn't stop crying because the one guy I wanted to hold me was just staring at me with an emotionless expression.

By the time the interview finished it was around 2o'clock In the afternoon. I made up with Louis and Harry buy Liam's been just as distant as usual. On the way back we stopped for some McDonalds. While waiting for my meal to come I went to the toilet to take a piss. What I didn't expect to find was Liam talking on the phone to Danielle in a dark corner oblivious to the fact I was just a few feet behind him. I heard him say, 'I love you too, babe. I can't wait to see you tonight...Oh really? Haha...I guess I need extra packets of condoms then?'

So. They were going to fuck tonight. Great. Just fucking great. I walked over to the urinal and unzipped my pants so I could piss. Liam quickly turned to look at me and said goodbyes to his 'sweetcakes' and hung up. He just stood there staring at me. I felt my dick stiffen and I didn't want a problem to arise just because I was horny so I stepped closer to the urinal to hide my erection.

'Did you follow me,?' Li asked tersely. 'No. Why would I follow you. I just needed a piss, so don't flatter yourself,' I scoffed.

When I finished i zipped my zip back up and went to the tap and began washing my hands. 'So. Were you talking with Danielle?' I asked conversationally. I saw Liam's jaw tense up at me mentioning Danielle. Interesting.

'Why do you care?'

'I don't. I'm just trying not to make our accidental meet-up awkward. You have a problem with that?'

'Why are you acting like this? Th-This guy you call yourself is NOT you,' Li said sadly, 'Is it because of me?

I looked down at me wet hands, conflicted on whether telling him the truth and him feeling guilty or lying to him and hating myself for lying to him. In the end, I couldn't lie to my LiLi so I told him the partial truth. 'It has a littlebit to do with the rejection and Danielle but mostly it's got to do with the stress, and my insomnia is a massive part of it. So...yeah' I awkwardly finished with a small chuckle. I never thought I would be awkward with the person I loved. -wait, did I say love? Oh shit. I can't love him. I can not love someone who isn't attracted to me. Reality hit me so hard and fast that I had tears gathered in my eyes. 'Niall babe' Li cooed. My eyes widened. Babe? Since when did he call me babe? Not that I mind of course.

Suddenly Liam was right in front of me. He was so close I could feel his breath across my face as he said, 'talk to me babe. Seriously. What's up these couple of days. I saw you crying with Zayn and..you know...I want you to know I will always be there for you. You don't need Zayn or anybody else. Your mine.' and with that he captured my lips between his. I was so shocked it took me a minute to take it all in. When I took it all in I began sucking at his bottom lip and opening my mouth to allow Li's tongue to come inside my mouth. We battled for dominance for a while and Liam was clearly winning so I just submitted.

He sucked on my bottom lip and gently bit down on it. A low moan flew out of my lips before I could help myself and Liam just swallowed me moan and had me moaning even more. I put my hands in his hair and tugged causing a moan to erupt from Li. He grounded our hips together making me cry out. He placed his hand on my waist then digged his fingers in my hip and pulled my hips towards his while thrusting making the sensation even more pleasurable. 'Liam..' I whimpered. I bit his earlobe and whispered, 'I need you'. Liam's eyes clashed with mine then got down on his knees and unzipped my jeans and pulled out my dick. 'Liam?' I questioned. I wasn't sure if he would regret giving me a blowjob in the future because that would hurt a lot. He simply said 'I want to suck you.' and then instantly deep throated me. Shocked, I just thrusted deeper into his mouth. 'Jesus Liam. Give a guy some warning.' Li just mumbled which sent vibrations throughout my whole body making me involuntarily shudder. I almost fell to the floor. Li continued his ministrations and deep throated me a couple of times. Each time brought me closer to an orgasm. 'Li-Liam. I'm going to- Arghhhh' I moaned, and Li continued sucking me off. Swallowing each drop of cum not leaving anything. Suddenly he jumped up and widened his eyes when he realized what he'd and ran.

I'm not sure how I got to my room and how I ended up in my pajamas. But I wasn't tired so I went into the bathroom to have a shower. Instead, when I saw how my face looked I realized why Liam wouldn't love me. Ever. My face was pale and pasty. My red-rimmed eyes were puffy from crying too much and my mouth was bleeding from trying to stop my cries getting loud when I was I bed. But I'm tired of trying to pretend I'm okay. That my heart isn't breaking. So I done one thing I hated doing. I fell to the ground crying. Feeling numb all over. I knew this happiness couldn't last. Nothing good in my life had ever lasted. So I did the one thing I knew would help. I got my razor and cut my scars from before and cut some new scars. I cut until there was blood rolling down my arms and on to the tiles staining the one white tiles, now filled with red blood splashes. I suddenly realized I was exhausted, mentally and physically. So I rested my head against the wall and drifted to sleep while still holding the razor filled with blood stains.


	4. Dreams Do Come True

A/N: HELLOOOO :D just want to thank LarryStylinson4lyfe for the awesome review. I love you. 3 keep the reviews comming. Anyway, I wrote this chapter at 1:47am so it might not be good :/ but please, please, PLEASE review.

Warning: contains smut and self harm

Disclaimer: i own nothing

Liam's POV:

Oh my. What have I done? I cheated on Danielle, the woman I love. And i love Niall. The confession didn't even surprise me. Though the fact that I wast surprised, surprised me. I also sucked Niall off and enjoyed it, then ran. I groaned. I'm the worst person ever. Imagine how Niall feels now. Why am I such a fucking asshole? People think I'm the kinda, sensible person in the group, but what I done to Niall was neither kind nor sensible. I shouldn't have run away. But I did and I know that Niall will hate me forever. What should I do?

I suddenly realize I'm lost. After I left Niall, I ran to the streets. I have no idea where I am and my phone battery is dead. Great. Fucking awesome.

There was a red light up ahead with two taxis so I ran to the nearest one yelling, 'Taxi!'. The driver turned to look at me with an angry expression on his face but once he recognized me he suddenly became 'nice'. 'Hello Li-um. How are you today? My daughter won't believe when I tell her I met Li-um,' He rambled. I laughed at the adoration in his voice. It was clear that he is also a one direction fan. After 5 minutes of stopping at a petrol station to take a picture of the taxi guy called Antony and following him on twitter, I finally made it back to the complex. It's a wonder I didn't get mobbed, not that in not grateful. I quietly slip in, not wanting to wake Niall up but for some reason I go passed his room and I peer inside. I can't see him. I momentarily panic, afraid that something bad happened to Niall, then I see a ray of artificial light coming from the bathroom. Just to make sure Nialler is okay I try to open the door but it's lock. Uh oh. This can't be good. What If he killed himself by over- NO! He's alright but you need to look up on him. I'm positive he's alright.

Me being a genius and all that know how to pick a lock with a paper clip and a knife. It took me a good 10 minutes before I managed to open the door. What waited for me inside was the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. I'm rooted to my spot just staring at the bloody arms of my babe. There are cuts all over his wrist surrounded by dry blood. It was a gruesome sight. I read somewhere that people who self harm are numb all over and they hurt themselves to feel. I also heard that some people self harm because they try to convert all the emotional pain into physical pain. It broke my heart that Niall had to resort to such methods.

A small cry left my mouth as the moment what Ni done sunk into my brain. He self harmed. Because of me. What kind of friend makes their best friend hurt themselves? With tears streaming down my face and barely containing my sobs, I rushed to his side and jolted him awake. 'Wha-?' he grumbled while wiping traces of sleep from his eyes and yawned pretty loudly. 'How could you Ni?' I whispered brokenly while pointing to his wrist. Confusion clouded his face for a second. The most heartbreaking look stuck to Ni's face.

Sputtering, he said, 'L-Li-Liam. Wha-? Are you-... I'm sorry th-..' he looked so hopeless and guilty that I couldn't help but cry into his shoulder and hold him tight. 'Why Ni? Why? I love you. Please. Why?' my voice broke at the end. Tears and snot mixed together on my face. I couldn't wipe my nose because I was crying so hard. 'I love you. I fucking love you. I'm not sure why I tried to stop myself from loving you and I hate how much pain I put you in but please forgive me.' I dried my tears on his shirt.

'You...You love me?' the pure happiness on Ni's face had me forgetting about the self harm. I chuckled, 'yeah, I realized after I ran...' I trailed off. The memory wasn't pleasant and it made me feel guilty. 'In this short couple of days I've fallen in love with you Nialler. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you...' I sniffed and made a move to pull away from Niall shoulder, 'No...'

Confused, I turned around wondering Ni was talking about. 'No need to be sorry. I will love you no matter what you do Li-Li. I love you so,' kiss, 'fucking,' kiss, 'much.' and with that, he turned around and sucked on my shoulder. 'ahhhh'

Ni sucked hard on my collarbone then kissed away the sting. Licking around my neck and gently biting my ear. Moaning, I dug my nails into his hips just the way he likes it then placed him into my lap. I gave him a quick peck on the lips and murmured against his lips, 'I love you do much that words cannot describe joe much I love you. So let me show you instead,' and with that I left a trail if kisses down his throat and took his shirt of revealing his magnificent body. I spent a couple of moments absorbing how Ni looked topless. I've seen him topless before, but never while having these feelings. 'Hurry, I'm so horny' I chocked on air when those words left my innocent baby's mouth. He thrust our hips together creating delicious friction between our dicks. I grabbed Ni by the armpits and placed him on the tile floor of the bathroom. I proceeded to take off his pants and boxers. The sight I was presented with left me panting.

I knew Ni was big but not this big! He looked around 8 1/2 inches long and 6 1/3 thick. It looked so sexy, just standing in the air proudly, leaking and begging to be sucked. I bent down without earning and took him in my mouth for a second time. This time, he tasted warm and was incredibly thick. But I refused to give up. I just took more of him in my mouth, delighting in the moans Ni was releasing. 'L-LiLi...I'm going to cum soon,' his voice was high-pitched. I didn't want this to end yet so I slurped up and let go of his dick with a pop and flipped Ni over despite his cries of protest. I spread his ass cheeks apart and started lubricating his hole, licking all around in circles and sticking mg tongue inside Ni, relishing in the cries for mercy and pleas for me to fuck him. Never being one to refuse my lover, I spat in my hand and slick up my erection. 'Are you ready Nialler. Once we do this there's no going back...' I warned. Niall looked at me with a frustrated expression and demanded, 'Fuck me already!' and thrust his hips up in the air enticingly. I grabbed his hips are thrust into his slick heat. I've never felt pleasure like this before. It is completely different with girls and with Niall. I'm glad to say sex with Niall is the best sex I've ever had. My vision went white for a second because of the intense pleasure running through my body. I kept thrusting and thrusting into Ni's body and Ni reciprocated by meeting my thrusts, thrust-for-thrust. Suddenly, Niall cried out extra loudly. 'YES! Hit there again. Yeahhhh like that. Oooohhh. Arghh. Fuck me harder Liam. HARDER!'. That was all I needed to go into freak mode and began hitting Ni's prostate dead-on. After 15 minutes of intense fucking, I was ready to explode, so u grabbed his duck and began punning it fast. Almost after 3 pumps, I felt Ni's ass clenching really tight and insane stars at the amount of ecstasy running in me was shocking. Ni cumming was all the motivation I needed to erupt myself, deep inside Nialler. Exhausted, I feel on top of Niall and heard him whisper, 'please don't leave me,' then he finally fell asleep.'

Niall looked so innocent and beautiful that laying on the floor made him look trashy. So I carried Niall to his bed and tucked Ni in and climbed in after, cuddling each other. Cuddles after mind blowing sex. I like that shit.


	5. I Thought You Loved Me

**A/N: sorry guys for the spelling mistakes on the other chapter :S my iPod is messed up. I'm also sorry for not updating sooner, although in my defence I had LOADS and LOADS of home work and I needed to study for some exams. I hope this chapter is what you guys were hoping for and that it's not shitt. I made it longer than usual because I haven't updated quickly enough for you guys :( I hope you enjoy this chapter! R&R please :3**

Niall's POV:

Waking up next to the guy you're in love with is just- there are absolutely no words to describe how wonderful it feels. He looks perfect. Like an angel. _My _angel. Oh god. I sound like one of those love-struck girls. I giggled a little at how hard I fell for Liam, under different circumstances I would have been worried but with Li and I, it was just meant to be. The memories of last night came rushing in and I was afraid that Liam would be disgusted of what happened and would leave me all alone. I turned a little and my eyes connected with Liam's. I didn't mean to wake him up but now that he's up, there's nothing I could do about it. There was this look of adoration in his eyes that I'd never seen before. 'Hey,' I said softly. I pressed a quick kiss to his lips and rested my head on the same pillow as Li's.

'Hi,' he chuckled, 'You look beautiful.'

'Thanks. I love you.' I said in between the little kisses I gave him.

'I love you too, honey bunch,' and with that, he pulled back and rolled on top of me. Hmmmm, this definitely has its possibilities.

'You're getting all soft now. Like a girl,' I teased.

'Would you like me to get hard?' His voice suddenly deeper than usual. I felt something hard growing against my thigh.

'That's dirty!' I laughed. I ground our hips together and wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. 'I'd like you to put your basilisk into my chamber of secrets.' A silent challenge to see who had the best sexual innuendos, it's childish -I know, but its good fun.

'If I give you my stick, will you promise to flick it?' Liam retorted, smirking he pinned my arms over my head and continued creating friction against our erections.

'Sure. I'm the kind of guy who likes a good swallow.' I hardly got that out because the feeling of a certain muscle rubbing against my dick and Liam sucking my neck was almost overpowering.

'Ride me,' he grabbed my hips and forced me to sit over his stomach. I admit I was a little nervous since I've never fucked in this position before but I didn't want to disappoint Liam. It helped that we were both completely naked so I retrieved a condom and some lube and placed it all around his cock. I enjoyed watching Liam watching me while I was preparing myself. I got up on my knees and nervously angled his dick towards my entrance and slowly sank downwards.

An unknown animalistic moan erupted from me. I knew I should be slightly ashamed of moaning like a professional porn star but this sensation had me seeing stars and I honestly didn't give a fuck. I rose up by pressing my hands on Li's abdomen and pushing my bum upwards. I slightly lay down on Li and pushed my bum all the way back down to the hilt. This new angle hit my prostate dead on; I rose up and down, up and down until both Liam and I were shouting in ecstasy. I guess we should have been quieter since Zayn was currently sleeping next door but I just didn't have the energy to care. I slowly fell into a happy dream where Liam is mine forever….

-3hours later-

Turning around and looking the other side of the bed, I realized I was alone. I glanced up at the digital clock on my nightstand 11:38am. _What?! Why didn't Liam wake me up before he left? Bastard. _I muttered curses while trying to choose what clothes to wear. I ended up just choosing the cleanest clothes in my closet.

Humming, I walked to the kitchen wishing that Zayn or Liam had the decency to cook me some breakfast. It didn't really surprise me when all I saw was some dirty plates that looked suspiciously like it had bacon and eggs in it before someone devoured it. _That's just one of my quirks. I can guess what someone ate just by looking at their plates after they've eaten all the food. I'm weird like that._

Just about as I was going to cook some bacon and eggs my stomach grumbled extra loudly and I decided that I couldn't last long enough to cook eggs, so I settled for Coco Pops. While I poured in the milk the front door to our complex was open so forcefully, that it hit the lamp on the mini-table and smashed it to pieces. There was silence for a good 10 seconds before the person who entered the room said, 'Woops?' 'Lou you dumb ass,' I heard a second voice which could only be Harry.

'What the fuck do you think you're doing? Huh?' I swiftly walked to the living room where a panicking Louis and Harry were trying to dispose the evidence.

'Uhmm….. We are just cleaning your floor. Some loser decided to break your lamp so I was….' Louis trailed off while Harry was just sitting on the floor openly laughing. People think that I'm the one in the band who laughs at everything and anything but that is actually Harry. Laughing at random shit for no reason whatsoever. Sometimes I think he's a little cray-cray, _as Americans' would say._

'Just get the mess cleaned up,' I muttered whilst treading back to the kitchen to get back to my Coco Pops. I pulled back the stool and proceeded to sit down. The moment my butt hit the stool, a sharp pain travelled up from my butt towards my spine.

'Argh,' I winced. 'Fuck fuck fuuuuuk' I didn't realise Louis and Harry were staring at me with wide eyes and opened mouths while I was hopping all around the kitchen rubbing my butt delicately.

'Um, you okay mate?' Harry asked, genuinely concerned.

Just as I was about to answer Louis cut in, 'Ha. I wouldn't be surprised if the reason his arse hurts is because Liam fucked him so hard.' He was clearly joking but that didn't stop all the blood from draining from my face.

A couple of minutes passed in silence. My eyes were wide and my mouth kept on opening then closing like a fish. 'Dear lord…' Harry said in a hushed voice. There was a really long moment of awkwardness where neither of us knew what to say.

'ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WOOHOO. IN YOUR FACE HARRY EDWARD STYLES, I TOLD YOU NIAM WAS REAL!' Louis shouted out of the blue, while doing a small victory dance.

That seemed to get Harry out of his shock before he started grinning and also began yelling lewd stuff about what Liam and I had done the night before. I purposely left out the details of us fucking. No. _Making love. That sounds so beautiful. Because what we done was beautiful._

'Hello? You there mate?' Louis said while snapping his fingers in front of my face making me jump.

'Yeah. Sorry,' I smiled. Thinking about Liam always got me feeling happy inside. _Speaking of Liam, where is he? _'Hey guys, do you know where Liam is?

'Uhhh….I think he went out to see Simon. Not sure though,' Louis replied then glancing at Harry nervously. 'Me and Harry were running low on flour so we came to see if you had some,' I could tell Louis was hiding something from me but I saw still a little high from this morning so I put that thought aside. I glanced at the clock and it read 12:30. _Yikes. I need to get ready to go to go see Elizabeth. I can't wait to show her what I got for her. _

'I think it's somewhere in the pantry. Not sure though, anyway, I'm going to El's house so don't wreck anything while you try to find the flour.' With that, I quickly finished half of the Coco Pops and ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth then pulled on some white -_more like grey- _vans and slipped on some shades and a snapback. Just as I was about to leave the house, I realized I forgot the files for El.

'See you lads,' I said while running out the door with the file and jumping on my bike. I pedalled as fast as I could, seeing if I could get to Elizabeth's before she left to go to Australia. I didn't know when Elizabeth would be leaving for Australia but I knew It'd be sometime after 1 o' clock today. Elizabeth was this nice girl that I met while ordering some food at Nandos. We really clicked but not in a romantic way. She was funny, could make the most innocent statements into something dirty and had become one of my best friends. Recently, she has been having problems with money. She couldn't even afford renting her house any longer.

I only found out a couple of weeks ago about her little problem and tried persuading management to allow me to give her some of my money to help her. I finally convinced them and inside this file is a $100,000 cheque a new house that I bought for her that's fully furnished, a new car, a closet full of designer clothes and an interview for a well-paid job.

Some people would say that's a lot to give a friend but El is practically my sister. I would do anything for her. This is why I ignored the temptation that presented itself when I passed by Nandos and continued pedalling as fast as I could to her house.

-30minutes later-

I pulled the keys El gave to me for her house in case of an emergency and opened the door. 'Elizabeth? Are you home babe?' I called for her.

I heard a muffled squeak then a thud. 'El?' I questioned, jogging to the place where I think the sound came from. It ended up being in her 'painting' room and the sight had me laughing uncontrollably. El was lying on the floor –apparently because she fell from the ladder- covered from head to toe in blue paint.

'What the fuck happened,' I managed to get out while laughing. I laughed so hard that a few tear drops fell from my eyes. I clutched my stomach to somewhat control my laughter. It took a good 5 minutes for me to totally stop laughing.

'You done?' huffed Elizabeth. She moved her jaw side to side and wiped some of the blue paint that splattered onto her face off on to her blouse.

'S-sorry. . . But that was funny,' I said then wiping away some tears.

'Glad I could entertain you then,' she replied sarcastically and slipped pass me to her room grabbing some freshly washed clothes and then proceeding to walk to the bathroom. 'I'm going to have a quick shower, make yourself at home.' El said before slipping into her room and softly shutting the door.

My stomach all of a sudden started to rumble extra loudly so I went to the kitchen to find something edible to eat. I left the file on the counter before going to the fridge. 'Hmmm… Lettuce. No. Apples. No way! Banana. Is there only fruit in this bloody fridge? Aha. Yes!' I found some spaghetti and some sauce and mixed them together making it look 10x tastier than it did minutes ago. I placed it into the microwave then heated for 2 minutes. I tapped my fingers on the kitchen bench while thinking about last night. A smile came onto my face as I remembered _everything. _I involuntarily shivered at the reminder of how much pleasure I had. Never had I felt so good in my life.

I felt my pants tighten and shifted to stop the uncomfortableness in my pants. _Bing, bing, bing. _The microwave had finished heating up my noodles and I grabbed the bowel, a fork and the remote on top of the microwave then sat on the loveseat while watching some random stand-up comedy that was playing on the T.V.

It was a short black man with a mildly handsome face and sideburns going by the name of LeBron Andre. He was cocky and the stories he told sounded like bullshit but it was still funny so I watched it, laughing every couple of minutes.

LeBron said, 'I didn't know that you could get so mad at a kid to the point that you want to fight. Kids are assholes. My daughter is an asshole. She is! We argue. Me and my daughter honestly argue and she can't even talk. She knows a couple of words, can put a couple of sentences together. We got into an argument over juice the other day.'

He paused for a quick break while the crowd was chuckling before continuing, 'She came into the room and was like, "Daddy. Juice." I said no, you had enough juice so go get some water. And she looked at me and was like, "Doomagaama doomagaama ga hmmm gama gama doomagaama doomaga juice." Lebron said with an imitation of a 6 year olds voice, 'And I looked at her and said, "Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?! Sit your little ass down and get the god damned water."

'I was so mad because I knew she knew what she was trying to say but she just didn't know how to say it. Like in her mind, she was saying "You black midget bitch. Give me the juice. Punk ass daddy." I was so mad I wanted to punch her in the throat. But that's my damn baby though. That's my daughter.' He laughed with the crowd.

'Oh my fucking goodness,' I laughed so hard the some of the spaghetti sauce got stuck in my throat and had me chocking. I pounded on my chest trying to get some of food stuck in my throat out. I finally managed to get to out and I drew in deep breaths, filling my lungs up with air. I continued breathing deeply for a couple of minutes to get my airways empty. When I was certain that I was no longer about to die I set down the bowel and strode to the sink to pour a cup of water and drank water to clear my throat.

I continued watching LeBron while drinking my water. 'I wish I was that funny,' I muttered sighing.

LeBron continued, 'You got to know what you're good at as an individual man. I'm good at seeing things, noticing thing. I remember a time when one of my friends got jumped and I was with him. . . I ran. The reason why I ran is because I saw it coming. Like, you know when you see stuff coming and you start to mentally break it down? I was "Oh shit. Oh no. Holy. . . wait. This doesn't look good, they look angry." So I took off. I'll tell you what's bad about running on somebody. It's bad when you run on somebody and they survive the jumping. Because when you see them you don't know what to do or say. I was like "Heeeeyyy . . . . Look who's alive. Hey man." '

I had to laugh at that. 'This guy is an asshole. Who doesn't help their friends?' I heard a voice say from the door.

I turned to look at her so quickly that I almost got whiplash. 'Jesus El! Give a guy some warning before you scare the shit outta him.' I said annoyed, ignoring her question.

Sighing, she went and walked to the loveseat and plonked down. 'Come on babe. Sit with me' she said with a little pout.

'Eh…' I sauntered to the loveseat and sat gingerly on it, the after effects of last night returning. We sat in silence for a few minutes just listening to LeBron sprouting off jokes after jokes.

'I'm leaving next week. I'm going to Australia because the economy is much cheaper there than here. . . . .' Elizabeth said softly. I looked at her remembering the reason why I came here and I jumped off the sofa to retrieve the file. Grinning widely, I jogged back to a confused El and handed her the file.

'Here. I would have given this to you earlier but management wouldn't let me give it to you before I confirmed it with Simon.' Elizabeth gave me a bewildered look before opening it and reading its contents.

Her eyes slowly widened and she stood up with her mouth open. 'Are you serious? $100,000 freaking dollars?! That's too much. I-I can't accept it. I'll g-'

'Please Elizabeth. You're practically my sister. I love you so much in a brotherly way. I'm not going to let you struggle just because I'm a fucking selfish ass. You will accept the money, the house, the car and the interview I got for you, and you will promise me that you will try your best to get to where you want to be in life,' I cut in. I pulled her wrist until she was sitting on my lap and I gave her, what the fans call and are so desperate for, 'A Horan Hug'.

I felt Elizabeth sniffle and laugh. 'Thank you so much Niall. You are the only person in my life who cares about me. Not my brother, sister, mother, father or my extended family cares about me as much as you do. I love you Niall, I will never be able to repay you for all the things you've done for me.' Tears were streaming down both of our faces. Seeing girls I know cry always makes me cry.

'It's okay babe.' I replied.

For another 3 hours, El and I talked about nothing in particular, joked and laughed until our ribs ached. At 4:15 I left to go home to see Liam but my bikes tires exploded because of the heat. I didn't really mind, I planned to walk all the way home, but first I need to take a little pit-stop at Nandos.

I wasn't too hungry so I only ordered a coke and a chicken pita then left to walk through the park before going home. The smell of roses and freshly mown grass was really calming and letting me peacefully think about how much better my life got, how I became happier I became since I found out Liam loved me back. I smiled.

I sat down on this extra-green looking grass under a tree and began eating my food. After a quiet 20 minutes of enjoying my pita and sipping on my coke I pulled my phone out from my pocket and I texted Liam.

[To: Liam]: 4:40pm

Hey babe, I love you J xx

While waiting for a reply I leaned against the tree and closed my eyes basking in the sunlight. I almost fell asleep but then a buzz came from my pocket. I grinned when I read the screen. I felt my heart expand, hardly being able to believe that Liam actually loved me

[To: Niall]: 4:56pm

Love ya too babe! 3

I leaned back on the tree again and closed my eyes with a genuinely happy smile on my face.

'Nooo. . . . I love _you_ more!' I heard a voice giggle.

'No. I love _youuu_ more!' I heard a male voice say. There were a few muffled sounds and more giggles.

I got up and stretched my arms and legs, picking up my empty coke can and pita wrapper. I walked over to the trash can next to me and chucked my rubbish in the trash. As I turned around, I saw a guy lying on top of a girl that sort of rembled Danielle. In fact, as I began to think about it, she looked suspiciously like Danielle.

Suddenly, the guy bent down and attached his lips with the girl and they began sucking face in a way that definitely wasn't allowed in a public park.

'Oi!' I yelled. I felt somewhat bad knowing that Danielle could be possibly cheating on Liam. When I yelled at them, they instantly turned around to look at me. The moment the guy looked at me all the breath inside me was knocked out.

Liam. Liam my love, the guy who said he loved me, was sharing spit with his 'girlfriend'. The girlfriend that I conveniently forgot about. My heart fell to the bottom of my stomach. My eyes were locked on Liam's. Seeing the torment in his eyes. Although, I'm not sure why he was feeling tormented. If anyone she feel that way it should be me.

'Er…. Sorry about that. Wrong person,' with that I turned and walked away, acting as if my heart wasn't shattered into a million pieces. As if Liam didn't break the trust I had in him.

I ran all the way back to my cold empty home and ran into the bathroom. I shed my cloths and stepped into the shower. I tried not to think about what happened at the park but the images kept coming back to my mind. To make it worse, Liam couldn't even use the excuse 'I wasn't ready to let the world know about our relationship so that's why I kissed her,' because he looked like he enjoyed that kiss. He enjoyed it a whole lot. Especially the tent in his jeans was a massive indication.

Before I could comprehend what I was doing, I grabbed my razor from the shower rack and sat on the floor while the water was falling all round me, blurring my vision. I pressed the razor to my thigh, in a place just under my knee and firmly pressed then dragging it across my skin, creating a thick red line of ruined tissue and beads of blood slowly beginning to make a mini-puddle around the wound. I cut myself again and again, hardly noticing the pain it brought. I only noticed the emptiness in my heart where just this morning, it was full of happiness.

While cutting, I thought about all the sweet nothings Liam said while we were making love. Where they all a lie? I'm not sure if I can even call it making love anymore. To me, what we did was a joining of two souls who were in love, but for Liam It was probably an easy fuck. I convinced myself that all the stuff he said to me while trying to comfort me when I was at my weakest point and saying he loved me back were all a lie. I mean, what's there to love about me? I eat too much. I'm fat. I have ugly teeth. My hair is oily. My skin colour is too pale. I laugh a lot.

If I listed all my faults the list would go on for miles.

By the time I stopped cutting my leg there was 15 thick, long, bloody scars that ran from one end of my thigh to another. I cut some new cuts and reopened the cuts from last time.

I ignored the sting the water caused when it came in contact with my scars. The water cascading around me cleaned the wounds decently and turned the water going down the pipe a pretty pink colour. My vision started getting hazy and before I passed out I somehow managed to get out of the shower, wrap some bandages on my scars, pull on some clean cloths, turn off all the lights and get into bed facing the window.

'I loved you Liam,' I whispered brokenly into the darkness.

The last thing I saw was the memory of Liam kissing Danielle in the park.

'I really did.' And with that I closed my eyes fell into a dreamless sleep.


	6. Dirty Bastard

**A/N: I'm so so so so so sorry for not updating in a long while. I was just so busy I didn't have the time. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Personally I think it sucks but...who knows. You guys might like it. :) Enjoy. **

Liam's P.O.V:

_Oh shit_, I thought. I rolled off Danielle and stood up; running my fingers through my hair. _What have I done this time? My little leprechaun will hate me forever._

'What was that about?' Danielle asked. I looked down at her and saw confusion on her face as she tried to understand what occurred only moments ago.

'I dunno,' I mumbled. I felt guilty for two reasons. Kissing Danielle while Niall was watching and for fucking Niall behind Danielle's back. _What have I gotten myself into?_

'Come on gorgeous. We have better things to do than sit here and try to figure out what just happened.' I grabbed her arm and pulled her up off the picnic mat. We gathered the food, rolled the mat and placed it all into the picnic basket.

'So where exactly are we going now?' Danielle questioned innocently. Although, Danielle was far from innocent in bed. She is into handcuffs, blindfolds and such.

I remember one instant where Dani was handcuffed to the bed while I was fucking her. Memories of that night came rushing and I had to muffle a moan at how delectable Dani looked. All spread out for me to see, it seemed like there were miles of creamy light brown skin. Her cheeks flushed an elegant shade of pink, lips parted and shining a bright red. Her head lolling side to side as I pounded into her relentlessly; complying when she begged me to go harder an-. My eyes widened but my pace never faltered. _I cannot believe I was thinking about that while Niall is probably at home crying his eyes out._

'Liam?' Danielle asked, snapping her fingers in front of my eyes.

I turned around and faced her with a blank expression on my face, acting as if she hadn't scared the living daylights out of me. 'What?' I questioned back.

'I asked where we are going,' she snapped. Her whole attitude suddenly changed. She looked angry. 'What's going on between Niall and you exactly?'

That stopped dead in my tracks. I glanced at Danielle stunned. 'What?!' _How could she know about us? I mean, we had sex like once or… twice. _There is no way she knew what happened between me and Niall. 'What the hell are you talking about?' I demanded.

'You are practically attached at the hip, when he sees us kissing he looks like he's ready to strangle me, you can't go a couple of hours without bringing him up and you both get this _look _when you look at each other,' she retorted.

'What are you implying?' I asked icily.

Her mouth dropped open. 'Wh- I mean- Lets just-. I'm go-going to go home until you cool down.' She handed grabbed her purse out of the basket and handed me the picnic basket. We stood still for a moment and just stared at each other before she turned around and walked away. I'm not even sure where she was going since her house was in the other direction but there was just too many thoughts going through my mind to even care.

I slowly turned and began walking at a slow pace towards my car. The sounds of birds chirping and ducks quaking nearby calmed me a little and allowed me to somewhat organize my thoughts. The first thing I tried to figure out was how to get back Niall.

I made it to my car quicker than I expected. I opened the boot of my car and placed the picnic basket in the middle before closing the boot. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and began dialling Niall's number noting how the sun was beginning to set. _How fast did the day go?_ I mused. I slipped into the driver's seat and put on the seat belt. I placed the keys into the ignition while waiting for Niall to pick up his phone. His voicemail picked up.

'Argh, for god sake Niall.' I chucked my phone to the passengers' seat and started driving.

The silence In the car was too much for me to handle so I turned on the radio and put the volume louder to drown out my thoughts.

'And now we are going to play a song by the amazing Chris Brown. Woohoo! It's called She Ain't You. Enjoy.'

_She ain't, she ain't you_

_No, she ain't, she ain't you_

_No, she ain't, she ain't you_

_No, she ain't, she ain't you_

_You make it hard for me to see somebody else_

_I'm calling her your name, yes, messed up_

_'Cause I'm thinking about you, it's your fault, babe_

_I never wanted us to break up, no, not this way_

_But you don't understand it, girl_

_When she touches me_

_I'm wishing that they were your hands_

_And when I'm with her it's only about the sex_

_With you I had a bad romance_

_And if I could just trade her in I would_

_'Cause nobody can pass you up, no_

_Yeah, I think I better let her go, can't leave you alone_

_Everyday that I'm with her, all I want is you_

_I wanna leave but I'm afraid_

_That you don't even feel the same_

_Now I realize that she ain't you_

_No, she ain't you_

_She ain't you_

_'Cause she ain't, no, she ain't you_

_I've been sleeping out for quite some nights now_

_It's not the same in my bed_

_But if she found out what's going on in my head_

_It will be all bad, have me right back_

_But you don't understand it girl_

_When she touches me_

_I'm wishing that they were your hands_

_And when I'm with her it's only about the sex_

_With you I had a bad romance_

_And if I could just trade her in I would_

_'Cause nobody can pass you up, no_

_Yeah, I think I better let her go, can't leave you alone_

_Every day that I'm with her, all I want is you_

_I wanna leave but I'm afraid_

_That you don't even feel the same_

_And now I realize that she ain't you_

_No, she ain't you_

_No, she ain't, she ain't you_

_No, she ain't, she ain't you_

_No, she ain't, she ain't you_

_No, she ain't, she ain't you_

_No, she ain't, she ain't you_

_No, she ain't, she ain't you_

_No, she ain't, she ain't you_

_No, she_

_I think I better let her go, can't leave you alone_

_Every day that I'm with her, all I want is you girl_

_I wanna leave but I'm afraid_

_That you don't even feel the same_

_Now I realize, that she ain't you_

_No, she ain't you_

_She ain't you_

_'Cause she ain't, no, she ain't you_

I hummed throughout the song. I'm not a Chris Brown fan but the song is pretty catchy and I can relate to the song….kind of.

No matter how hard I tried I kept on thinking about Niall. But I couldn't blame myself because Niall is one of a kind. I've never met anyone like him and I doubt I ever will. He's just so perfect. But then again, so is Danielle. _I don't know what to do anymore,_ I sighed. I turned off the radio making the car silent.

I pulled up into 7Eleven and bought myself a nice, large strawberry Slurpee, some chocolates and a whole heap of lollies. I handed them over to the cashier waiting for him to scan all of my items and tell me the price so I could get out of this foul-smelling shop. I discreetly scrunched up my nose. _Wow this place smells. What died in here?_

'$15.90 thanks,' said the cashier in a bored tone while placing all of my items into a plastic bag and handing it me.

'Keep the change,' I handed him a $20 note. I looked up and our eyes connected for a second. I realized that he had such lovely blue eyes. They were clear and bright with a certain spark in his eyes. His lips curled up and bit his bottom lip and began nibbling on it slightly. That drew my attention straight down to his lips. His lips were slightly red and luscious.

I licked my lips wondering what it would feel like if this -_this angel_- kissed me. I began checking him out. He had amazing check bones and strikingly blue eyes that I just couldn't stop staring at and wavy jet-black hair that made me want to run my hands through while he pounded into from behind. His black t-shirt stretched across his torso clearly defining what lay underneath.

'Like what you see?' he asked in a husky voice.

I raised one eyebrow and smirked. 'Someone's a little up themselves.'

He grinned. 'I know I'm sexy. I'm practically a sex god.'

I laughed. 'I'm Liam.' I stretched out my hand for 'sexy guy' to shake.

He looked down at my hand for a few seconds before taking hold of it and firmly shaking it. 'Hello Liam. I have some better quality chocolates in the back. Want to come and help me look for them?' He had the nerve to ask while slowly stoking my palm with his thumb.

My breath hitched when I saw the lustful look in his eyes. I nodded. He released my hand then jumped over the counter and. He was more muscled up close and I could see the lining of his 'V'. Grabbing my hand, he dragged me to some door. He opened the door and pushed me inside. My mind was unable to process that we were standing in an alleyway at night. I didn't usually do stuff like this. My thoughts were cut short because 'sexy guy' attached our lips together and pressed me against the brick wall.

My senses were in overload. I could think of nothing except how soft his lips were. How they fit perfectly and how wonderful it felt when he nibbled on my bottom lip.

'What's your name,' I name I managed to ask. I shuddered as the sexy-nameless-guy bit down and sucked hard on my collar-bone.

'David. It's David.'

David ran his fingers through my hair and tugged it, forcing my neck to bend side-ways making it more accessible. He licked my collar-bone and formed a thin trail to my ear.

'_David,'_ I moaned when he grinded our hips together. That simple movement caused me to harden considerably. I needed more; more friction, more everything.

I bucked up making our dicks rub together. I let out a drawn out moan which David just swallowed. I pulled back from the kiss when the need to breathe became too much. Obviously David didn't have the same problem as me since he was back to sucking my neck. I continuously kept grinding our hips together making us both moan.

I was close. The familiar warmth was spreading down from my navel to my toes. 'Da-David. Nghh….I'm a-about to c-c-cum. _Daaaavid!_' I groaned. I felt my pants beginning to sag down a little and my briefs felt soggy. I screwed my eyes shut raked my fingernails across his back.

Before I got down from my high David gave me a sloppy kiss and went down on his knees. 'Wha-?' before I could finish my question he unzipped my jeans and pulled both my jeans and cum-stained briefs down and took me into his mouth. 'Oh my god, DAVID!' I screamed. I didn't care if anyone could hear or see us. All I cared about was how much pleasure I was getting. I sneaked a look at David and saw his soft, pink lips engulfing my dick. I shivered at the sight of him licking the head of my dick and my leaking pre-cum. 'S-stop. I want you… In me- now!' I demanded. I felt slightly woozy and I was so desperate for him to fill me. David stopped bobbing his head up and down my cock and let go of it with an audible _pop._

'Turn around then put your hands the wall,' He said roughly, turning me around and clutching my waist. 'Stick out your arse.' I moved back slightly and leaned on the wall causing my arse to jut out. I heard David taking off his belt and jeans and throwing them on the ground. I also heard the wrapper of something being torn off. I presume it was a condom wrapper. After a couple of moments of nothing happening I wiggled my ass hoping David was going to thrust into me _soon._

He just laughed, 'Inpatient bastard.'

I felt his wet cock coated in lube, gently pressing against my ass. He separated my cheeks and slowly entered me; inch by inch. 'Aaahh' I moaned. It was slightly painful but the pleasure was much more intense so I didn't mind in the least. I thrust backwards forcing David to go deeper inside me. 'I need you….H-harder. Please, _please_. Fuck me until I can't walk for another week. Arghhh.' I shouted and shouted until my throat was sore and yet I still shouted. All I could feel was his dick sliding in and out of me; slamming into my prostate mercilessly. _I liked bottoming_ I randomly thought.

'Fuck. FUCK! YES…JUST LIKE THAT. DAAAAAIVD!' I came all over the brick wall shouting his name until my voice became nothing more than a horse whisper. I would have slumped to the ground if David hadn't caught me.

He slipped out of me, threw away the condom and began jerking off. I turned around and went down to my knees and started sucking the head of his dick. David let out a muffled shout before cumming on my face. Most landed on my cheek but a few landed on my tongue.

After David came, I got up and wiped away the cum on my chest and cheek. We both began putting on our clothes. We dressed in silence and just as I was about to leave David to hold of my hand. 'I hope I see you again, Liam.' And with that, David slid past me and went inside the shop again. I trailed after him collecting my now-melted-Slurpee and the plastic bag that lay near the register. I looked outside the window and noted that it was night. I wondered how long we were fucking each other for.

I left the shop without a backward glance at David banishing all thoughts of him out of my mind.

I silently entered our flat. 'Niall? Zayn? Hello?'

Zayn was probably partying with Harry and Louis so I wasn't too worried about him. Niall however, could be anywhere. I ran through the kitchen to Niall's room. I knocked on his door but got no response. 'Niall, are you in there?' I asked through the door. I waited for a while but I couldn't hear anything. 'Sweetcheeks?' I turned the doorknob and crept in, being as quiet as I could.I glanced towards and saw him facing the window, sleeping.

'You beautiful, son of a bitch. What are you doing to me?' I sighed and left the room, closing the door quietly. I pressed my head against his door, 'What did I do? I'm such a fucking idiot.' I closed my eyes. 'Such. A. Fucking. Idiot.'

'Who's a fucking idiot?' I heard someone say from behind me. I jumped at the unexpected voice. 'Holy motherfucking shit!' I exclaimed. 'Never EVER, do that to me again.'

Zayn just smirked and repeated himself, 'who's a fucking idiot?'

'I am. It- I mean….I kind of- fucking hell. MeandDavidhadsexanditwasgrea t,' I blurted.

'What? Say it again. I think I heard you wrong,' Zayn said.

I sighed. _Looks like there's no getting out of this. _'Me and David had sex and it was great.' I moved past an obviously shocked Zayn and walked into my room motioning him to follow me.

Zayn slowly came into my room and looked at me as if I had grown three head. I rolled my eyes at him proceeding to sit on my bed and snapped, 'If you're going to fucking judge me I'd prefer it if you'd do it discreetly.'

He looked taken aback. 'No, no, no. That wasn't what I was doing I was just- I'm just shocked. I thought you were straight. I thought you were dating Danielle. You _are _Danielle aren't you? Wait….Did you cheat on her?' Zayn's eyes had widened considerably.

'Honestly? I don't know what I am. I know I'm attracted to men, and I still think Danielle is fit. But-. I also slept with Niall.' I mumbled.

Zayn sat next to me and wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulder. 'Why don't you tell me what happened from the beginning yeah?'

And that's what I did.

I just let out everything; my feelings, my thoughts, what happened and a few tears. Zayn just held me, not commenting or judging. This is why Zayn is my favourite.

'I think you need to tell Danielle what happened. It's not fair on her,' Zayn said after I finished telling him everything.

I hiccupped. 'But then she'd break up with me! I don't want that to happen!' I said frantically. I took my head off his shoulder and wiped my nose on my sleeve.

'It's not fair that you cheated on her; 3 times. She deserves to know. If she wants to stay with you after you tell her you cheated, then great, if she doesn't well…..there's nothing you can do if she doesn't want to stay with you anymore.'

'I hate how you're so logical sometimes,' I sniffled.

He chuckled. 'I learnt from the best,' he kissed my cheek and rose up from the bed. 'Now sleep. You can tell Danielle about _this _tomorrow. Deal?' He looked down at me with hopeful look.

'Deal.' I smiled up at him. 'I don't know what I'd do without you Zayn.'

He smiled back. 'You'd go insane.' He leaned down and kissed me head and whispered, 'Goodnight Daddy Direction,' and with that, he left.

I quickly jumped off the bed and strolled to the bathroom. I removed my clothes and stepped into the shower and turned the water on. The water was scalding but it slightly helped me feel less dirty. Less like a whore. I wanted David well and truly gone from my life. I realized that if I wanted to continue on with life I'd need to forget him and that exactly what I plan to do. I washed myself 3 times before moving out of the shower and drying myself in the steam-filled bathroom with a fluffy red towel Niall bought me when we went to Australia. I walked out of the shower and into my room grabbing some boxers and pulling on some pyjamas I've had at the back of my closet for a while.

I slid into bed and looked outside my window and saw a falling star. Closing my eyes, I made a wish I knew wouldn't ever come true except in my dreams. I didn't mind because what's the point of living if you never dream? I drifted off to sleep; a cold, dreamless sleep.

**A/N: Oh god. This sucked didn't it? I only posted this because I didn't want to disappoint you guys with not updating for too long. My excuse is that I had too many end of term tests and assignments and I couldn't be fucked. :/ Well, since my holidays has officially started I hope I'll be updating quicker. :) I hope you liked this chapter. Please don't forget to review. :3 I love you all. Have a nice day! **


	7. Author's Note

**A/N: Hey guys. This isn't an update, it's just an Author's Note. I'm having a HUGE writer's block now and I have a general idea on where I want the story to go, but I'm not really sure what to do for chapter 7. So I was wondering what you guys would like to happen in the next chapter. :$ I feel shitty for not knowing how to write this chapter. Anyways, can you guys send in some ideas? It'd be greatly appreciated if you did. Have a nice day (or night.) :) xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** **I'm so so so so so sorry for not updating in a long LONG time. I've been dealing with a lot of personal problems like depression, cutting and such. I haven't been feeling my best and I was barely able to even write Batman Suit. Again. I'm really sorry. I'm not sure when I'll be able to update. I really am sorry guys. You've been waiting patiently v.v y'all deserve an sex tape from Niam for your patience. Hahahaha just ignore me. I'm a horny bastard. Oh well. This is kinda a filler chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it anyways. Merry late Christmas to everyone who celebrates it and Happy New Years. MWAH XX**

**ps: I'm on my iPod I can't properly edit this, so I'm terribly sorry if there are any mistakes**

**pps: I know it's really short but I wanted to give to guys something ^.^ sorry!**

Niall's POV:

I wake up to the persistent chirping outside my window. I groan and place my pillow over my head so I can block out the disturbing noise and fall asleep again. The pillow doesn't help. Sighing, I get up and frown when I step on something squishy yet hard. I lift up my foot and see that I've stepped on a few drops of dried up blood.

My heart skips a few beats. I look around the room to see if there're other incriminating evidence on the carpet. After my mini inspection, I run to the bathroom with a spare shirt and soak it with water. After I'm satisfied with the amount of moisture in the shirt I quickly walk back to the edge of the bed and get on my knees. I wipe away the evidence as fast as I can, and let out a relieved laugh when the carpet is as clean as it ever will get.

'Well that was pretty fucking close.' I grimace at the state of the shirt in my hand and scrunch it up before I push it far under my bed, away from searching hands. I stand up shakily and run my fingers through my hair and try not to think about what the boys would do if the found blood on my carpet.

Breathing deeply, I begin stretching my aching muscles and ignoring my thigh throbbing. After a couple of minutes I check the clock and reading that's 10:47.

Great. Liam's definitely up by now. Looks like there's no avoiding the bastard. Oh if I could get my hands on him- I'd probably let him fuck me, a voice in my head says. I pout at how accurate that is. Looks like I won't be touching him then.

I jog down the stairs to the kitchen, hearing my stomach grumble. All the boys are already in the kitchen looking comfortable and Liam looking sexy as usual.

Grumbling, I move to the fridge and stare at its contents. At first I see deliciously amazing food. But then I remember that i cant afford to get any fatter so I settle for Weet-Bix; the healthy gag worthy option. I grab the pack out of the cupboard and begin preparing my breakfast.

'You okay Nialler?' I hear Zayn's concerned voice ask me.

'Mhm? Yeah, yeah. M'just tired. Didn't sleep well last night.' I take my bowl to the living room and turn on the TV, then jumping onto the couch and almost tipping my breakfast over.

While eating my dull breakfast, I desperately try to come up with things to do so I could avoid Liam. Today we have one of our rare days off so I better come up with time consuming things to do fast.

Lost in though, I didn't notice the couch dipping when Liam sat beside me. 'Hey...'

I stiffened and cautiously turned to look at him, my breathe hitching. Liam looked perfect. With his pink lips and taut jaw bones. His eyes is what does it for me though. So chocolate-y and warm.

'You done staring at Liam or do you want a few more minutes?' Louis sniggered, throwing himself on the couch beside Liam.

'Fuck off mate.' I turned bright red and turned to look back at the TV screen.

There was silence for a while as Harry and Zayn joined us in the living room, the boys taking turns in staring at Liam and I.

'So... What's up between you and Niall? I could cut the tension with a sword,' Louis asked casually.

'A sword?' Harry said incredulously. 'You're really sad Boo Bear.'

'I thought I told you not to call me Boo Bear!'

'But you love me, so I'm allowed to call you that.'

'And how do you know that?'

'You tell me every night babe.'

'Shut up.'

'Make me.'

'Maybe I will!'

'So you want to make out then?'

'Sur- wait what?'

Harry cocked an eyebrow with a knew-it expression and looked back at me.

'Talking about tension, I can feel the sexual tension between you two,' I said pointing to Harry and Louis after I place the half-empty bowl on the table.

'What sexual tension?'

'There's no sexual tension.'

'I'm with Eleanor.'

'Yeah... He's with Eleanor.'

There is silence once more in the room as Harry awkwardly fiddles with his fingers. I look over at Zayn who's quieter than usual. I see him raising his eyebrows and directing them at me while looking at Liam. I look at Liam from the corner of my eye and see him doing the same. So they're silently conversing about me. How awesome! Note sarcasm please.

I bite my lip and try to ignore Liam's presence but it's easier said than done since we're sitting so close, his thigh was pressed against mine and our feet almost intertwined. I move my feet away discreetly when I see Zayn's eyes drop to my legs. I stopped moving and pray he doesn't bring It up.

He didn't disappoint me.

'Well. As lovely as this awkward silence is, I have a date with Eleanor I need to get to. So if you'll excuse me..' Louis trailed off, skipping out of the room.

I frowned. He didn't seem too happy about it. Not that he sounded happy about any of the recent dates he's had with her.

'I agree.' I heard Liam's warm voice say.

My head jerked to the side and looked him in the eyes. My breath caught again and I mentally cursed myself. Zayn and Harry silently excuse themselves as they too leave the room to give us some privacy. I swallow hard and move back a bit. Liam opens his mouth and after a few moments closes it again like a fish. I can't help but giggle.

'Are you laughing at me?' Liam says in mock affront.

'Sorry... Couldn't help it.' After a few seconds I added, 'you reminded me of a fish.' I giggle again, clutching a hand over my mouth to stop the giggles but I fail miserably.

Liam joins in and we both giggle like fools for what felt like hours.

'You're beautiful.'

My eyes widened and I abruptly stop laughing. Jumping off the couch, I take a few steps back, shaking my head. 'No, no, no, no, no. You're not going to do this to me. Not when you belong to Danielle.'

'Niall I'm really sorry. If you'd just let me tell-.'

'What else is there to tell?! You gave me the impression you loved me! You made me feel special. And the first chance you get, you make out with Danielle. Nice. Real nice Liam,' I cut Liam off and turn around, about to run back to my room and cry in bed all day.

'Please listen to-.' Liam tires again.

'No. I'm done with you.' With this I leave him and run to my room, slamming my door shut and leaning against it as I cry for the first time that day.


End file.
